After a while of you talking and moving your hands and me eating and listening and nodding, I started to think about cutting a certain spot on your body, one that would let all the things I don't like about you escape into the air around your body, leaving you as I have always wanted you to be. I don't mean this to sound violent. There wouldn't be any blood. It wouldn't even hurt.
I started to wonder where on your body this spot would be. I decided it would probably be behind the ear, a place nobody ever really thinks about. I started pointing out things in the restaurant for you to look at, to get you to turn your head, to give me a glimpse of your secret spot. I started dropping silverware, my napkin, pretending to tie my shoes. I knew it wouldn't look any different than the rest of you, but I was still convinced I'd recognize it if I saw it.