Mark Leidner Makes Me Laugh Out Loud

I just ordered Mark Leidner's chapbook Night of 1,000 Murders

Here are some of my favorite lines from Mark Leidner's poem "Romantic Comedies,"
which can be seen here


Everyone in his life has drowned and he hates dogs and she’s a
collegiate swimming coach with a thousand dogs.

She’s sort of interested in him, but he’s not sure how interested he is
in her, though he is, a little bit.

She’s a sassy black oncologist and he’s a racist with prostate cancer.

He’s a Muslim terrorist and she’s a normal Muslim.

He’s a foot fetishist and she’s an amputee.

She likes things one way and he likes them the other.

He’s hungry and doesn’t care where they eat, and she keeps saying she doesn’t care either, but every restaurant he offers up, she shoots down.

She likes monogamy but he likes sleeping around.

She’s like get a load of this and he’s like whoa.

Guess who just ordered a bunch of new books with his Alabama $$$?

I did.

Lara Glenum
Rebecca Loudon
Anna Journey
Robyn Schiff


And this is just the beginning.

I have three poems in the current issue of FOLLY online.

This link might work.

Alabama Vignettes

In Alabama, when the person behind the counter asks you how you are doing, they really want to know. They also expect to be asked how they are doing in return, so they can give you a detailed answer. After this, the weather, traffic, or football may be discussed. Transactions take an average of 3-5 minutes longer than they would in Wisconsin, yet nobody waiting in line seems to mind.


I can't decide which barbecue restaurant to try first. They all have different variations on the same grinning cartoon pig attesting to their being #1 in the south. Their parking lots are also always filled with enormous trucks every day around lunch time.


I bought a new bed today. When the saleslady asked me if I needed it delivered,
I said yes. She made a slight face, then said "Yes... please."


I met a mother of another new student moving into my apartment building yesterday. She said they were from Montana. She then said it was beautiful here, but wanted to know if rattlesnakes were a problem, especially at night. I told her I didn't think so.