June 30, 2009

You Go On Ahead

and when me and the boys were out
we killed a thousand butterflies,
so I put their wings into my mouth
and said a prayer for our safe arrival.

June 24, 2009

Three cats vs. one mouse Part II

I headed towards the bathroom, and noticed what I first took to be one of the cats' many toys lying on the small green rug in front of the shower. As I got closer to it I realized that this was a lifeless mouse, rather than the similarly lifeless toy mice I usually see around the house.

As I leaned in even closer I realized it was also a headless mouse, its neck ending in a blood-stained tangle of fur. There was a spot of blood the size of a thumbprint on the tile floor, and a few stray pieces of dark fur, but no mouse head. I stopped leaning in so close, widening the scope of my search, strongly regretting my decision to survey the room barefoot.

I just knew I was going to find that tiny, bloody mouse head with my toes by accident, probably while crossing the kitchen with a plate of food later that week.

June 20, 2009

three cats vs. one mouse, part one

Upon seeing a mouse the size of the mice-shaped toys we buy for the cats scurrying across the window sill, I decided to test the validity of my childhood cartoons. I gathered all three of our cats and tossed them into the bedroom, locking the door. I then set the kitchen timer for an hour and played some Wii.

After the hour was up, I opened the bedroom door to check on the cats' progress. The three of them were sitting on the floor, staring up at me serenely. They were clearly ready to leave the room, and sauntered out with an air of pride and satisfaction, giving me hope that they had accomplished their mission while also making me slightly queasy at the thought of what I might find.

I noticed a lake of diet coke stretching across the top of the dresser, and an overturned plastic cup lying on the floor. There were a few tufts of dark fur floating in the coke, and another stuck to an ice cube. I started scouring the floor for anything furry, bloody, or both.

June 16, 2009


After a while of you talking and moving your hands and me eating and listening and nodding, I started to think about cutting a certain spot on your body, one that would let all the things I don't like about you escape into the air around your body, leaving you as I have always wanted you to be. I don't mean this to sound violent. There wouldn't be any blood. It wouldn't even hurt.

I started to wonder where on your body this spot would be. I decided it would probably be behind the ear, a place nobody ever really thinks about. I started pointing out things in the restaurant for you to look at, to get you to turn your head, to give me a glimpse of your secret spot. I started dropping silverware, my napkin, pretending to tie my shoes. I knew it wouldn't look any different than the rest of you, but I was still convinced I'd recognize it if I saw it.

June 14, 2009

I'm going to get Jeni this shirt but she doesn't know it yet.

Sometimes it seems crummy in America. Sure there's rampant corruption and incompetence and it seems like 90% of Americans are violent idiots that dress like assholes, but sometimes it's sort of okay or whatever.

You can wear this shirt to a barbecue but then your uncle sees it and is not sure what to think and maybe hesitates to give you your burger but in the end he gives it to you, so it is okay.

June 08, 2009

After being pulled over for driving with a suspended license, a search by police of Santana's Bentley found a bag of marijuana, 29 bullets and $20,500 in cash inside a plastic bag filled with Jolly Rancher candies.

Who keeps twenty grand in cash in a bag of Halloween candy? I can't decide upon which side of the stupid/awesome line that lies.

June 05, 2009

Word of the day: Peripety - a sudden change in a course of events

A boy stands at the edge of the water. He wears a plastic bag over his head,
it's sealed at the neck. He thinks he'll be able to breathe underwater;
he's wrong. He will drown when he jumps; he cannot swim.

I have long wondered if we sleep at night because it is too dark to hunt or gather.

I'm stuck in the city but I belong in a field.